#soothegrief Archives -

May 19, 2016 By Marisa Moks-Unger

Personal Journal Writing Soothes Grief

Observing Grief Gives Way to Beauty

Daily journal writing soothes grief and gives gift of beauty.

Beauty is not the first word you may think of when the topic of grief comes up in conversation. Perhaps sorrow, dread or suffering, but not beauty. In the classic book on self-development,The Artist’s Way, author Julia Cameron notes that negative emotions can be neutralized through a daily journal writing practice, which she describes as Morning Pages. These three pages of stream-of-consciousness writing point out the extremes in behavior – be it overt sadness or over-bounding glee. And in that quiet place in the center, I have learned from practicing this daily method for over a decade, is where beauty resides within grief.

Not everyone is willing to find that center. They will reject it. They will deny it. Someone recommend that I suspend the grief “over there” – as if it were capable of being conveniently shelved for later inspection. The only problem is that grief is a tired ad weary travel companion, who will not leave you alone until you complete the conversation with it. And that conversation is one you have to have within yourself, which is why journal writing works so well. Send out a question disguised as a writing prompt: “What do I need to learn from grief?” Then, without judgement, write the reply for three pages.

I did this exercise recently in the heartland of Florida after my step-father passed away. He battled a long and debilitating fight with a slew of diseases, which turned his world upside-down. I was walking near a canal near his home at dawn, which was cloudy with the approach of a storm. Reflected there in the dark waters of the canal was every palmetto, every cattail, every lily pad that was on or near the shore. And I got a glowing feeling inside of me as I wrote down in my journal after the walk, “that beauty resides reflected in grief with memories of family trips and Italian cooking lessons just as the beauty was reflected from the shore in the waters of the canal.” It was a mid-life lesson to observe this lush land as I, too, observed the life of my father-in-law, who had a life filled with beauty.

Scrabble Words for Flow

Create a Word Bank from Scrabble

Word Lists from Scrabble — First play the game, then get writing from your curated word list.

Sunday afternoons find my husband, mother-in-law, and I playing Scrabble. This ritual helps us to pass the time during the pandemic. The games usually run one to two hours. We have taken these games to a new level by anticipating them each week, then carefully crafting our word choices. It helps that all three of us are avid readers and come up with a variety of interesting diction.

Also, the game gets my mother-in-law’s mind off of the local paper’s with its teeming death notices of Covid-19 victims – most from local residential living facilities. And, she is now interested in the fact that I am using these word lists to write from professionally.

Next, free write for a few. Make a list of the words developed during the game. Then use the list as a springboard to write a creative piece using as many of the words as possible. Play with long and short lines. Add some rhymes. Look for alliteration. Give yourself about 10 minutes. See what images appear.

Then, select a genre or two to carry through. As a theme arises from the free write of the word list, follow the lead. Perhaps a poem rises up. Or, a one-act play. Or, both! Choose one genre knowing that you can come back and create more works from any single topic.

Now, it’s your turn! If you have a Scrabble game somewhere hidden in a hall closet, it is time to get it out and try your hand at this writing tactic. It employs procrastination by allowing you to blow off writing at first by playing a game. Then, you are rewarded for the time you invested in the game by writing a piece from the words you and others generated.

Here’s to growing your flow,

Marisa

TGIFF – Thank God It’s Friday Flow

Cliché Finds Flow on Friday

Congratulations, you’ve made it to Friday. And, at the workweek’s end, there is time to find flow. But, where do you go to find flow? First, realize that flow can happen anywhere at anytime. Need proof? Look at this past post on finding flow in a card and party goods store. Simply click right here: https://wewriteitright.com/visit-flow-in-a-party-goods-shop/

How Gratitude Leads the Way

Use grateful eyes to take in the world around you. Then, instead of planning to hit the bars and clubs when the clock strikes 5:00 PM, other options present themselves during these times of pandemic. Why not take a virtual tour a museum? Or, take a walk or bike ride through a park? Or, spend an hour working on a poem, and essay, or a blog post. When you are grateful for the options you have – even if you are working from home amid shutdowns – then that is enough.

Your Turn

Playtime creates greater flow. — Spirographs, Etch-a-Sketch, and Slinkys are just a few ways to re-enter flow through playtime. What was your favorite activity as a child? When was the last time you tried it as an adult?

Think back to grade school, junior high, or middle school. Think about the electives that you took that helped round out your schedule. Did you take dance or music classes? Weight training? Or, perhaps, like me, you did candle making. Whatever it might be, try to reunite your lost teen with your adult self. Take time to write, dance, sing, paint, or play with your Spirograph! You’ll be glad you did!

Here’s to growing your flow,

Marisa