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June 1, 2016 By Marisa Moks-Unger

Affirmations Flip Negativity to Positivity for Success

In a Rut? Reframe Issues with Gratitude

Nobody likes the mental portraits that negativity paints – especially when fear, guilt and shame color the pictures in vivid shades of morose. Everyone gets in a rut every now and then. But instead of letting the groove get deeper, how do you release negativity to gain a positive mindset that encourages success?

Reframing professional problems or personal dilemmas in an intentional image of gratitude can work wonders in moving ahead. Even Buddha has deep reflections on the attributes of a grateful heart when he noted that “Every experience, no matter how bad it seems, holds within it a blessing of some kind. The goal is to find it.”

Challenging issues seem to often unfold new and wonderful opportunities for growth when viewed through a framework of gratitude. Take a mid-career man I know who was laid off from his job. Luckily, he was given an excellent opportunity to attend vocational training that lead to an entirely new career as a welder. He had been alert to the benefits of a training center in his town and took immediate action to move in a new and exciting direction. Whether realizing it or not, he was practicing gratitude by using his outreach to an established technical school as a resource to remedy his problem.

Affirmation work is one method of finding the silver lining within situations that are perceived as bad. Some, like hidden disabilities, affect both professional and personal life in harsh ways. I speak from experience: I have dealt with nerve degeneration that creates low-toned hearing loss since I was a young teen. The reactions that I get from some strangers, acquaintances, friends, and even family members, are cringe worthy. They may yell every syllable or over-enunciate something like a greeting with “HOW IS BUSINESS?” while nodding with each syllable – as if overdoing it will indeed help. Others do the opposite and speak continuously and block any attempt of a response to control the situation. And still others overtly avoid me. They refuse to make an effort to view my disability as a learning moment. Instead, they create drama and make it a chore they to deal with. These hearing challenges are compounded by the fact that I have an atypical reversed slope, low-toned hearing loss that has yet to be successfully fit with hearing aids after years of trials.

So I reframe the situation. Using affirmations such as “I hear with love” and “My hearing still works for me” helps me to deal with challenging people and situations daily. Furthermore, I adapt to a given situation by standing off to the side of a crowd, by lipreading, by carrying paper and a pad, or by texting and messaging in loud crowds.

And, several times a day, I ask myself, “What is the gift in this hearing challenge (rather than hearing “loss”)? At first, I had no answers, especially when people said, “Oh it really wasn’t that funny,” and refused to repeat a joke. Or curtly told me, “Never mind” and walked away.

After reading a pivotal work, “The Four Agreements,” by Don Miguel Ruiz, I have made, “I release the need to take other people’s actions personally,” a mantra. When I am upfront with my disability and treated poorly by others, I have learned that it is a sign of their own unease of adapting to differences in people, not my lack of flexibility. I, too, have learned that my hearing challenges assist me in weeding out those who do not want to even attempt the courtesy of inclusion. I take a page from the CEO Playbook, which says, “I am the CEO of my life and I can hire, promote, demote or fire anyone I want.” Rude people may think they have the upper hand, but I now chalk up their behavior to poor socialization skills. After all it is 2016. Inclusion? It’s trending! Moreover, there is a gift in educating others on how to communicate more effectively, which most people are earnestly willing to do. It is the emphasis of those individuals, whom I “hire and promote” from acquaintances to friends, that really make reframing a disability very worthwhile.

What issue will you reframe today?

Scrabble Words for Flow

Create a Word Bank from Scrabble

Word Lists from Scrabble — First play the game, then get writing from your curated word list.

Sunday afternoons find my husband, mother-in-law, and I playing Scrabble. This ritual helps us to pass the time during the pandemic. The games usually run one to two hours. We have taken these games to a new level by anticipating them each week, then carefully crafting our word choices. It helps that all three of us are avid readers and come up with a variety of interesting diction.

Also, the game gets my mother-in-law’s mind off of the local paper’s with its teeming death notices of Covid-19 victims – most from local residential living facilities. And, she is now interested in the fact that I am using these word lists to write from professionally.

Next, free write for a few. Make a list of the words developed during the game. Then use the list as a springboard to write a creative piece using as many of the words as possible. Play with long and short lines. Add some rhymes. Look for alliteration. Give yourself about 10 minutes. See what images appear.

Then, select a genre or two to carry through. As a theme arises from the free write of the word list, follow the lead. Perhaps a poem rises up. Or, a one-act play. Or, both! Choose one genre knowing that you can come back and create more works from any single topic.

Now, it’s your turn! If you have a Scrabble game somewhere hidden in a hall closet, it is time to get it out and try your hand at this writing tactic. It employs procrastination by allowing you to blow off writing at first by playing a game. Then, you are rewarded for the time you invested in the game by writing a piece from the words you and others generated.

Here’s to growing your flow,

Marisa

TGIFF – Thank God It’s Friday Flow

Cliché Finds Flow on Friday

Congratulations, you’ve made it to Friday. And, at the workweek’s end, there is time to find flow. But, where do you go to find flow? First, realize that flow can happen anywhere at anytime. Need proof? Look at this past post on finding flow in a card and party goods store. Simply click right here: https://wewriteitright.com/visit-flow-in-a-party-goods-shop/

How Gratitude Leads the Way

Use grateful eyes to take in the world around you. Then, instead of planning to hit the bars and clubs when the clock strikes 5:00 PM, other options present themselves during these times of pandemic. Why not take a virtual tour a museum? Or, take a walk or bike ride through a park? Or, spend an hour working on a poem, and essay, or a blog post. When you are grateful for the options you have – even if you are working from home amid shutdowns – then that is enough.

Your Turn

Playtime creates greater flow. — Spirographs, Etch-a-Sketch, and Slinkys are just a few ways to re-enter flow through playtime. What was your favorite activity as a child? When was the last time you tried it as an adult?

Think back to grade school, junior high, or middle school. Think about the electives that you took that helped round out your schedule. Did you take dance or music classes? Weight training? Or, perhaps, like me, you did candle making. Whatever it might be, try to reunite your lost teen with your adult self. Take time to write, dance, sing, paint, or play with your Spirograph! You’ll be glad you did!

Here’s to growing your flow,

Marisa